"... All true trophies of the ages
are from mother-love impearled,
For the hand that rocks the cradle,
Is the hand that rules the world."
William Ross Wallace
are from mother-love impearled,
For the hand that rocks the cradle,
Is the hand that rules the world."
William Ross Wallace
Stella Irene Carver (Irene)
Born on Tuesday, August 13, 1929, Irene was the daughter of Frederick Sylvester Carver and Dora Irene Parcels. She had three brothers, Ernest Frederick Carver, Raymond Thomas Carver, and Bruce Herbert Carver. She was born and raised in Port Colborne, Ontario. She spoke very fondly of living on a farm on Lorraine Road, although the long walk to school was not among her favourite memories.
When Irene was fourteen she quit school and began working. She worked at the Humberstone Shoe Factory in Port Colborne, Ontario. She also talked of the old "bag factory". It is not known if she actually worked there or if the shoe factory was located in the building once occupied by the bag factory. By the time she was eighteen, she had met and married Roy Donald Bigelow on June 11, 1947. She gave birth to her first child, Faye Anne, in June of 1948. It is likely that Faye was named after Roy's mother, Annie Dodd Bigelow. Irene's marriage to Roy was short-lived and shortly after their child's first birthday she left him. It is no secret that by the time Irene left her marriage she was carrying a second child, Beverley. The father of this child was Roy's cousin, Clarence Smith. Mom recalled to me the day she left Roy and walked from their home on Charles Street over to Dad's apartment around the corner. It must have been a very frightening time for her as this was a time and age when this kind of thing was frowned upon and this decision must have cost her in ways we'll never know. Her strength and bravery in following her heart at the risk of facing the judgment of those around her is an incredible example.
What those early days were like for Irene and Clarence is sketchy at best, but I know that Clarence worked on the boats that ran up and down the St Lawrence Seaway, and as a result he was away for months at a time. Irene lived with her brother, Raymond for a short time, and when their first child, Beverley, was born her brothers, Bruce and Raymond were with Irene so Clarence must have been out on the boats at the time. Over the next few years Clarence and Irene lived in various places in the Ridgeway, Fort Erie area. In 1958 they moved into their own home in Crystal Beach. They raised their children in this home and lived together there until Irene's death on March 23, 2000.
While Irene was raising her children it was sometimes necessary for her to work outside of the home in order to help meet her family's needs. How she managed to keep up with it all is a mystery to me, but she did it well. She was a woman of incredible strength and energy. Many of her children will recall her babysitting their cousin Bruce Carver Jr., working at the Palmwood Hotel in Crystal Beach, doing housework for locals, and being a lunch supervisor at Crystal Beach Public School.
One would think that after her kids were grown Irene would retire to a life of rest, but that was not her style. At this time of her life she took on several long-term, full-time, "babysitting" positions. Although she used the term babysitting, these positions were much more and at least three local families enjoyed the care that she provided for the children and their homes. That she was much more than a babysitter to these families is evident in the love and respect they had for her and in the loss they felt at her passing.
Irene died in a car accident on March 23, 2000. After learning from area residents that many accidents had occurred at the same intersection where Irene's accident occurred her children passed a petition around to have changes made at the site. The Niagara Region found that this was a high-risk intersection and implemented measures to increase the safety of the area. An all-way stop was installed and the speed limit was lowered along a stretch of the road leading to the stop sign. There is no doubt that lives have been saved because of these measures. There is also the assurance that the residents in the area can sleep easier and live in their homes without having to worry about the once all too often accidents that they had endured over the years.
Most who knew Irene would not have thought of her as a woman of faith but she in fact had a very quiet but real faith in God. She was not a "religious" woman by any means and in fact she had serious issues with church-going people who were judgmental or self-righteous. She simply could not tolerate these types. She searched for a God that was far different than what she felt "church people" represented. I believe she found that God. In 1988 Irene had a dream in which Jesus appeared while she was in a shopping mall with Clarence and their son, Derek. Thinking it was the end of the world, Irene said that she had hoped that all her family would be together when this happened. At this point in the dream Jesus looked at her and said that there was still time. From that time on Irene made an even more concerted effort to get close to all of her children and grandchildren. She also began to read the Bible that one of her daughters bought her shortly after this dream. Her Bible was important to her and she was very careful when making her Will to make sure that it would be passed on to her grandson Dougie. As a newborn Doug had a medical condition that required surgery and leaving him her Bible was Irene's way of showing her gratitude for his recovery and subsequent good health. Irene kept her faith quiet, but it was there and if her children were to look back on the cards she sent to them over the years, they would see that the last several years she was more prone to sending cards with scripture. On the night of Irene's accident as two of her daughters, Bev and Dianne were removing the mattress from her bed for family members to sleep on they found a bookmark on the bed springs under the mattress. The bookmark had a portion of scripture from Isaiah 66:13 "As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you..." It was the only item under her mattress and it looked to be placed there purposely. Why or when she put it there is a mystery, but it brought comfort at the time and I hope it brings comfort to all those who loved her and are reading this.
If given only one word to describe Irene, each of her children and grandchildren would undoubtedly use a different one. I would use the word "strong". Her physical strength may not have been apparent to those who did not know her well, but those of us that had the privilege were well acquainted with it. Rising early to get Clarence off to work, staying up late to make sure the day's work was done and getting in a little down time after the kids were in bed was part of her everyday routine. How she managed all of that without dragging herself around exhausted all day is incomprehensible to me. Her physical strength, however, paled in comparison to the strength of her will and determination. She could be absolutely unmovable and resolute in her opinions and beliefs. This is not to say that she was harsh in any way. She certainly was not. She simply knew her own mind and was not afraid to speak it when the situation warranted.
I chose this word to describe Mom because it is the trait that I admire most about her. It is my hope that each of you will add to her story by writing your own description of her. In doing so we can give her grandchildren, great-grandchildren and future descendants an idea of who she was and extend her legacy to them. If you wish to add a comment to this site, describing Mom in your own words, or if you have a favourite memory to share, please click here. I have added a Memories of Mom and Dad page to the site, but I'll need help from all of you. We are the witnesses to her life and these memories will help future generations to "know" her.
When Irene was fourteen she quit school and began working. She worked at the Humberstone Shoe Factory in Port Colborne, Ontario. She also talked of the old "bag factory". It is not known if she actually worked there or if the shoe factory was located in the building once occupied by the bag factory. By the time she was eighteen, she had met and married Roy Donald Bigelow on June 11, 1947. She gave birth to her first child, Faye Anne, in June of 1948. It is likely that Faye was named after Roy's mother, Annie Dodd Bigelow. Irene's marriage to Roy was short-lived and shortly after their child's first birthday she left him. It is no secret that by the time Irene left her marriage she was carrying a second child, Beverley. The father of this child was Roy's cousin, Clarence Smith. Mom recalled to me the day she left Roy and walked from their home on Charles Street over to Dad's apartment around the corner. It must have been a very frightening time for her as this was a time and age when this kind of thing was frowned upon and this decision must have cost her in ways we'll never know. Her strength and bravery in following her heart at the risk of facing the judgment of those around her is an incredible example.
What those early days were like for Irene and Clarence is sketchy at best, but I know that Clarence worked on the boats that ran up and down the St Lawrence Seaway, and as a result he was away for months at a time. Irene lived with her brother, Raymond for a short time, and when their first child, Beverley, was born her brothers, Bruce and Raymond were with Irene so Clarence must have been out on the boats at the time. Over the next few years Clarence and Irene lived in various places in the Ridgeway, Fort Erie area. In 1958 they moved into their own home in Crystal Beach. They raised their children in this home and lived together there until Irene's death on March 23, 2000.
While Irene was raising her children it was sometimes necessary for her to work outside of the home in order to help meet her family's needs. How she managed to keep up with it all is a mystery to me, but she did it well. She was a woman of incredible strength and energy. Many of her children will recall her babysitting their cousin Bruce Carver Jr., working at the Palmwood Hotel in Crystal Beach, doing housework for locals, and being a lunch supervisor at Crystal Beach Public School.
One would think that after her kids were grown Irene would retire to a life of rest, but that was not her style. At this time of her life she took on several long-term, full-time, "babysitting" positions. Although she used the term babysitting, these positions were much more and at least three local families enjoyed the care that she provided for the children and their homes. That she was much more than a babysitter to these families is evident in the love and respect they had for her and in the loss they felt at her passing.
Irene died in a car accident on March 23, 2000. After learning from area residents that many accidents had occurred at the same intersection where Irene's accident occurred her children passed a petition around to have changes made at the site. The Niagara Region found that this was a high-risk intersection and implemented measures to increase the safety of the area. An all-way stop was installed and the speed limit was lowered along a stretch of the road leading to the stop sign. There is no doubt that lives have been saved because of these measures. There is also the assurance that the residents in the area can sleep easier and live in their homes without having to worry about the once all too often accidents that they had endured over the years.
Most who knew Irene would not have thought of her as a woman of faith but she in fact had a very quiet but real faith in God. She was not a "religious" woman by any means and in fact she had serious issues with church-going people who were judgmental or self-righteous. She simply could not tolerate these types. She searched for a God that was far different than what she felt "church people" represented. I believe she found that God. In 1988 Irene had a dream in which Jesus appeared while she was in a shopping mall with Clarence and their son, Derek. Thinking it was the end of the world, Irene said that she had hoped that all her family would be together when this happened. At this point in the dream Jesus looked at her and said that there was still time. From that time on Irene made an even more concerted effort to get close to all of her children and grandchildren. She also began to read the Bible that one of her daughters bought her shortly after this dream. Her Bible was important to her and she was very careful when making her Will to make sure that it would be passed on to her grandson Dougie. As a newborn Doug had a medical condition that required surgery and leaving him her Bible was Irene's way of showing her gratitude for his recovery and subsequent good health. Irene kept her faith quiet, but it was there and if her children were to look back on the cards she sent to them over the years, they would see that the last several years she was more prone to sending cards with scripture. On the night of Irene's accident as two of her daughters, Bev and Dianne were removing the mattress from her bed for family members to sleep on they found a bookmark on the bed springs under the mattress. The bookmark had a portion of scripture from Isaiah 66:13 "As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you..." It was the only item under her mattress and it looked to be placed there purposely. Why or when she put it there is a mystery, but it brought comfort at the time and I hope it brings comfort to all those who loved her and are reading this.
If given only one word to describe Irene, each of her children and grandchildren would undoubtedly use a different one. I would use the word "strong". Her physical strength may not have been apparent to those who did not know her well, but those of us that had the privilege were well acquainted with it. Rising early to get Clarence off to work, staying up late to make sure the day's work was done and getting in a little down time after the kids were in bed was part of her everyday routine. How she managed all of that without dragging herself around exhausted all day is incomprehensible to me. Her physical strength, however, paled in comparison to the strength of her will and determination. She could be absolutely unmovable and resolute in her opinions and beliefs. This is not to say that she was harsh in any way. She certainly was not. She simply knew her own mind and was not afraid to speak it when the situation warranted.
I chose this word to describe Mom because it is the trait that I admire most about her. It is my hope that each of you will add to her story by writing your own description of her. In doing so we can give her grandchildren, great-grandchildren and future descendants an idea of who she was and extend her legacy to them. If you wish to add a comment to this site, describing Mom in your own words, or if you have a favourite memory to share, please click here. I have added a Memories of Mom and Dad page to the site, but I'll need help from all of you. We are the witnesses to her life and these memories will help future generations to "know" her.